Portia Nelson’s short story, "There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk", is a beautiful metaphor for personal growth and self-discovery. The story unfolds in a series of short verses that describe a person’s journey through a repetitive cycle of falling into a hole, realizing they’re stuck, and eventually learning how to avoid it by changing their behaviors.
This metaphor is an excellent way to illustrate how self-care coaching program works, particularly in terms of helping individuals break patterns, discover new insights about themselves, and take intentional steps toward healthier and more fulfilling lives.
Here's a comparison of the short story’s stages to the key benefits of Girlfriends self-care coaching program:
Chapter 1. "I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out."
Comparison to Self-Care Coaching:
Current Challenges and Awareness: In this stage of the story, the individual is unaware of the cycle they’re trapped in. They walk down the street, unaware of the hole, and repeatedly fall into it. This represents the lack of self-awareness or stuckness that many people experience when they’re caught in unhealthy habits or thought patterns.
How Coaching Helps: individuals recognize where they’re getting stuck, whether it’s in unproductive behaviors, negative self-talk, or emotional depletion. Through self-awareness and reflection exercises, clients can identify their “holes”—patterns that drain their energy, hinder progress, or contribute to burnout.
Chapter 2. "I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place. But it isn't my fault. It still takes a long time to get out."
Comparison to Self-Care Coaching:
Repetition of Patterns: In this stage, the person recognizes they’re stuck in the same hole, but they still don’t have the tools to avoid it. They’re repeating the cycle without understanding how to break free.
Repetition of Patterns: In this stage, the person recognizes they’re stuck in the same hole, but they still don’t have the tools to avoid it. They’re repeating the cycle without understanding how to break free.
How Coaching Helps: One of the benefits of Girlfriends self-care coaching program is that it teaches strategies to break repetitive, self-sabotaging habits. Clients will learn how to develop new coping mechanisms, set boundaries, and prioritize their self-care in ways that help them avoid falling back into old patterns. Through mindfulness practices, goal setting, and accountability, they’ll be more empowered to take action when they notice the “hole” approaching.
Chapter 3. "I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in... it's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately."
Comparison to Self-Care Coaching:
Growing Awareness and Responsibility: At this point, the person is more aware of the hole but still finds themselves falling in. They take responsibility for their actions and recognize they have some control over the situation.
How Coaching Helps: This stage reflects the empowerment that Girlfriends coaching program offers. Clients will move from feeling helpless to taking ownership of their decisions and actions. They’ll recognize that they have the power to make intentional choices. The coaching process helps individuals build new habits—such as regular self-care practices, mindfulness, and positive affirmations—that support their long-term health and well-being, so they can get out of their “holes” more quickly. They’re also taught how to practice self-compassion, so they don't fall into shame when they slip up.
Chapter 4. "I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it."
Comparison to Self-Care Coaching:
Avoiding the Hole: Here, the person has learned enough to avoid the hole entirely. They’ve internalized the lessons and are now able to navigate life in a way that doesn’t involve repeating past mistakes or falling into unhealthy patterns.
How Coaching Helps: This is the goal of Girlfriends self-care coaching program—helping clients master proactive self-care practices so they no longer fall into the same emotional or physical “holes” they once did. Through consistent coaching, self-care routines, and emotional resilience training, clients develop the skills to navigate challenges effectively, set healthy boundaries, and avoid burnout. They now walk around obstacles with ease, because they’ve learned how to prioritize themselves and manage their well-being in a sustainable way.
Chapter 5. "I walk down another street."
Comparison to Self-Care Coaching:
Transformation and New Beginnings: At the final stage of the story, the individual chooses a new path entirely. The hole no longer appears because they’ve fundamentally changed how they approach life.
How Coaching Helps: This represents the transformation clients experience through Girlfriends coaching program. They don’t just avoid the “holes” of the past—they create entirely new, healthier paths for themselves. They might adopt new career goals, healthier relationships, or a mindset of growth and self-compassion that aligns with their core values. Your coaching gives them the tools to take intentional steps toward creating a life that feels more balanced, fulfilling, and aligned with their true self.
Key Takeaways for Girlfriends Coaching Programs
Awareness and Self-Discovery: Much like the story's protagonist, clients begin by gaining awareness of their current habits, thought patterns, and behaviors. They learn how their actions and mindset affect their physical and emotional well-being.
Breaking Cycles: Coaching helps individuals break free from negative cycles (the “holes”) that no longer serve them. Whether it’s unhealthy stress management, neglecting their needs, or self-sabotaging behaviors, my program empowers clients to take responsibility for their well-being.
Empowerment and Tools for Success: I help clients develop the tools and confidence they need to make empowered choices, which leads to healthier habits and ultimately greater peace of mind.
Long-Term Transformation: My program doesn’t just help you cope with immediate challenges; it helps you transform your mindset, create lasting change, and discover new possibilities for your lives—just like how the individual in the story walks down a different street altogether.
In short, "There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk" is a powerful metaphor for the journey that clients undergo in my self-care coaching program. They move from unconscious patterns and reactive living to conscious decision-making, personal growth, and proactive self-care that leads to sustained health and happiness.
Reference: Nelson, P. (n.d.) “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters”.